Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.
My brain has too many tabs open and three of them are frozen.
Why do people say "I saw it with my own eyes". Do they sometimes use other people's eyes?
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person.
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Lost my pizza cutter so I used a Bryan Adams CD. It cuts like a knife.
Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out - "You have reached your final destination."