Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I don't understand how I can remember a song from 1984, but forget why I walked into the kitchen.
I follow a diet, but it doesn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
You have to be odd to be number one.
I intend to live forever, so far so good.
Why do people have to get ready for bed?
Iām always ready for bed.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Life Tip:
Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I've never felt more like a dummy than the day I learned my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.