Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sort By: Most Popular Newest Random
My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
🔎View
Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
🔎View
What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.
🔎View
Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
🔎View
Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears.
🔎View
You must agree, the shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
🔎View
I wouldn't say that my ceiling is the best, but it's up there.
🔎View
If you need an ark, I Noah guy.
🔎View
Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.
🔎View
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
🔎View