Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
How come Miss Universe is only ever won by people from Earth?
Apparently "Spite" is not an appropriate answer to "What motivates you?"
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters.
If vegetables are so good, explain to me why vegans are always trying to make them taste like meat.
Diet tip: Your pants won't get tight if you don't wear any.
It is so hot outside that my sweat has sweat.
Tropical state of mind, but on a backyard budget.
If there is no pool, I am not showing up.
I have resting beach face.