Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Remember when Botox was a taboo subject? Now you mention it,
and nobody raises an eyebrow.
If you don't know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning Global Warming. It's a great ice breaker.
I want to be a doctor, but I don't have enough patience.
If you're ever feeling down, just remember..
you're closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.
Rainbows aren't very heavy. In fact they're pretty light.
I read about 12 books a year on the toilet. That's how I became an expert on toilets.
I invented a new mind-reading device for predicting smells. It makes scents when you think about it.
A big shout-out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money!
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.