Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.
The audacity of laundry to exist every single week without fail.
Saying 'let me check my schedule' when you know full well you have nothing going on.
I don't need Google. My wife knows everything.
My bed and I have a special relationship. But my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
My relationship with Monday is strictly non-consensual.
Every Monday I enter the office like a hostage returning to captivity.
I told my suitcase we're not going on vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
Monday is basically the loading screen for the rest of the week.