Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
I'm not old. I'm vintage.
Novinophobia - the fear of running out of wine
It's not that the man couldn't juggle, it's just that he didn't have the balls to do it.
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek they say "boldly go where no one has gone before", but they always meet someone?
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it's the scenter.
The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn't already taken.
A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.