Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
My uncle writes 'LOL' on every post including the ones about funerals.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
My financial situation is like an hourglass. Everything eventually falls to the bottom.
Life is too short to remove a USB drive safely.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be a couch potato with high ambitions.
Facebook: where people share things you didn't ask about to people who don't care.
I'm old enough to know better but young enough to do it anyway.
Every time Facebook shows me a memory I think 'delete this evidence immediately.'