Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Currently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour.
A man walked into a bar. Ouch.
If swimming is good for your shape, explain whales.
I'd tell you to go to hell but I work there and don't want to see you every day.
Another day, another Facebook memory reminding me of the person I used to be
I went to buy camouflage pants but couldn't find any.
A friend said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and having a staff meeting.
I tried to start a hot air balloon business but it never took off.
I don't always post on Facebook, but when I do, it's probably a picture of food.