Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
There should be a calorie refund for food that did not taste as good as you expected.
Just because you are offended, does not mean you are right.
I can always spot printers, scanners and keyboards out of the corner of my eye. I guess I have good peripheral vision.
I'm silently correcting your grammar.
I don't know what's tighter, my jeans or my schedule.
Brains are amazing. I wish everyone had one.
Status: Too lazy to put a status.
My houseplants have started a support group. They meet on the windowsill to discuss my neglect.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
Plot twist: It was me. I was the problem the whole time.