Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
If you're not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Quantum physics: The study of how I can simultaneously be late and still get there on time.
The difference between me and Superman is - He has super vision. I require supervision.
I like putting my music on shuffle but then I get annoyed when it doesn't play the songs I want.
I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.
Using the wrong tool during surgery can be heart wrenching.
I don't know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what, I have never been sad at a Mexican restaurant.
Sometimes I put the "PRO" in procrastination.
Enjoy the warmth of August because we are approaching the series of BRR months.
At the advent of it's invention the guillotine was considered cutting edge technology.